Hope. Desire. Trees. And Riches.

Proverbs 13:6,12: Righteousness keeps him that is upright in the way: but wickedness overthrows the sinner… Hope deferred makes the heart sick: but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. I think a reoccurring thread throughout out Proverbs is that, as I continue to please God in my journey, He will order things to fall into place for my good. I can SO identify with verse 12. How many times in my life have I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but then it ends up being a dead-end instead? Talk about stomach-churning heart-break. I think back to being a teenager and having my heart broken over a boyfriend and realize that as an adult, that heart-sick feeling comes back again and again when it comes to other relationships, job situations, family struggles, and… well, just plain life circumstances. My prayer today is really just begging God to see my desire. For the most part, it’s not even something that can be put into words. But it’s there and He gets it. And so I’m pleading with Him for some kind of resolution. Some kind of fulfillment. My heart is sick over the feeling of hopelessness. The feeling that my desire is unheard and uncared for. When the desire comes, it is a tree of life. I look forward to that.

Verse 7: There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches. This was confusing to me! I usually love to read the King James Version. I think it’s so beautiful. But I do struggle with the wording from time to time. =) I had to look it up in about 7 translations and then in a commentary. Matthew Henry’s commentary on this verse was: “Some who are really poor, trade and spend as if they were rich: this is sin, and will be shame, and it will end accordingly. Some that are really rich, would be thought to be poor: in this there is want of gratitude to God, want of justice and charity to others. There are many hypocrites, empty of grace, who will not be convinced of their poverty. There are many fearing Christians, who are spiritually rich, yet think themselves poor; by their doubts, and complaints, and griefs, they make themselves poor.” I can see that my perspective of my condition will lead me to success or failure. My outlook on my circumstances actually leads me to riches or poverty. Perspective has so much to do with it. I don’t mean that if I think it, it will happen. What I mean is that my situation is only as bad as I choose to view it. There, that makes more sense.