Tuesday, March 31, 2015

living from the inside out

I quit writing a couple years ago as I stumbled under a weight of sadness and resignation. I lost the emotional energy -the will- to write, which caused me to lose my drive to continue thinking, searching, and growing internally. As the lights went out, my soul became vacant and somewhat cold. Cobwebs grew over the view from my window. It has been said that if you are not growing, you are dying. I certainly was not growing.

As one of my bosses began recently discussing a book he's been reading, I was brought to the stark realization that I had allowed an outside hurt to interrupt the development of my inner core. In "The Choice," Mr. Frank A. Thomas teaches on the development of our inner core... the inner essence of our personhood. I'm reading the book now myself and am being reminded that inside my own soul are powerful resources I cannot forget. When I allow life experiences to interrupt the development of my inner core, I've looked to fill what's missing on the inside with something on the outside...this is called living from the outside in. And it's backwards from how God created me. When I'm living from the outside in, I plague myself with questions such as, "Am I good enough?" or "Am I pretty enough?" or "Will they like me?" No core confidence. No trust in my own thoughts and feelings.

Ephesians 3: 14-19 (14) For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,[a] (15) from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, (16) that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, (17) that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, (18) may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— (19) to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Mr. Thomas points out that the word strengthened is opposite of the word discouraged. God will strengthen me at the depth... the very core... the center of my inner being. This results in being rooted and established in love. And living from the inside out.